Eeek! Dealing with Monsters in the Office

31 10 2013

Happy Halloween from Campus to Career!  As I drove home yesterday, I got to thinking about how monsters are present in the workforce.  Yes, REAL monsters.  Scary, huh?  Here’s a fun creature feature on the four most common monsters on the job.  Enjoy!

draculaDracula.  This guy sucks the life out of people.  Literally.  He’s the Prince of Darkness and this kind of co-worker is seriously out to get you. His survival depends on it.  Beware of vampires at work.  They hang out in the shadows, are blood-thirsty and they’re no good for anyone.  The best way to work with vampires is to stay in the sunlight (use positive thinking even when they try to suck the life out of you) and keep a list or display of daily affirmations (aka your “garlic”) around you to stay motivated and focused.

Frankenstein's_monster_(Boris_Karloff)

Frankenstein’s Monster.  He has the best of everything.  Seriously.  Not to be confused with Dr. Frankenstein himself, his Monster is a mash-up of all the very best body parts and organs.  Not the most vocal of monsters, he grunts and groans (or screams if there’s fire) but is typically a harmless being.  Don’t let him derail your meetings with his outbursts.  When he gets out of line, just give him a kitten.  He’s a softie on the inside.  (A hug also works if you don’t have a kitten handy.  The poor guy just needs to know he’s appreciated.)

wolfmanThe  Wolfman.  This guy works long hours.  In fact, you could call him a night creature.  When the moon is full, the Wolfman is working at maximum efficiency.  Well, as long as he stays away from silver-tipped objects.  Working with the Wolfman requires flexibility because his schedule isn’t the typical 9-to-5.  He gets the work done when he’s most productive.  Keep that in mind when assigning projects and deadlines.  Just remember to bring your lint brush and never mind the occasional baying at the moon.

thriller-460_1054147c

The Zombie.  Zombies are perhaps the most common monster at work.  You know the type:  They drag themselves into the office every morning, moaning and groaning about how tired they are from last night’s activity (which may or may not have entailed eating brains.)  Zombies feed off of other people, bringing others down with them.  The best part of Zombies?  Their work ethic.  They’ll stop at nothing!  Focus your Zombies on a project they can complete, giving them explicit directions.  Then, let them go!  PS. Click here to see what you get when you add music to Zombies at work.

Looking for a new brain for your monster?  Just don’t send this guy:

Young-Frankenstein_l

What other monsters are in your workplace??  Let’s do the Monster Mash!!

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