What Do You Want? Ask for It!

20 09 2011

This was published a few months ago on another site.  It’s still relevant, so I’d like to share the full post with you here.  Enjoy!

This weekend, my wife and I visited the nearest Red Box movie rental machine for some relaxing entertainment options. You see, we had just finished a landscaping project that ended up being a LOT bigger than originally planned and we were utterly exhausted. We ultimately agreed on the movie, How Do You Know with Reese Witherspoon, Paul Rudd, Owen Wilson and Jack Nicholson. Chick-flick by definition, the movie had several things going including love, heartache, fear (not the Freddie Krueger type of fear, but still scary) and more. I won’t give up the plot or any of the good parts for you. You’ll have to rent it yourself.

There was one poignant quote in the middle of the film that stuck with me. “Find out what you want in life and learn how to ask for it” was the advice given by a psychiatrist, played by Tony Shalhoub. He was asked that if he could give any general advice to anybody what it would be. This really hit home for me. I got to thinking, “how does this apply to my life? How does it apply to job seekers?” You see, even on the weekends, I’m thinking about how I can help job seekers be successful. My brain never fully goes into relax mode (unless I’m on a cruise in the Caribbean with a nice cold beverage in my hand…) The job search is scary and the two points above are things that seem simple, yet are the hardest things to accomplish.

Find out what you want. This is hard. Seriously. Finding out what you want in life takes some trial and error. As long as you learn from your mistakes, you’ll find what you want. This could certainly be your career, but also applies to your significant other, family, friends, etc. What makes you happy? Does your job have the “happiness factor”? Do you find reward and purpose in doing what you do? Now, keep in mind that not every job has the happiness factor and for some, it may not be the reason to take the job. We all understand that bills need to be paid; families need to be supported and so on. Happiness takes time – don’t rush it. Take a step back and let the universe do its work (you do have to help some, though.) Work towards your goal and keep your eye on the prize! When you know what you want, life can be a lot easier.

Learn how to ask for it. Ok, so you’ve found out what you want in life. How do you ask for it? The first reaction to this is one of “shouldn’t I be able to get what I want if I work hard enough?” Possibly, but what if you actually ask for the things you want in life? Let’s face it; most people aren’t mind-readers. Here’s a great example: You’ve worked hard all year long at your job, exceeding everyone’s expectations, making deadlines, and providing high-quality results for your company. It’s now time for your yearly performance appraisal and you’ve just been given the opportunity to provide feedback or comments to your boss. You ask for a raise. Your results speak for themselves. The happy ending? You get that raise. Why? Because you asked for it (and proved that you were worth it.) You asked for what you wanted. That raise not only helps morale, it will also help your family and better your standard of living.

Like I said earlier, these are two very tough things to accomplish. Some people spend their entire lives seeking happiness. Others find it quickly and spend the rest of their lives helping others find their calling. Take baby steps, learn along the way, and continue to use that learning to get closer to your goal! Now, are you ready to find what you want in life? Don’t forget to ask for it! Go knock ‘em dead!

Photo credit: MarcandAngel.com

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2 responses

21 09 2011
Anh Tran

Thank you, Kirk! This is very meaningful for me! 🙂

24 06 2014
Big Advice from a Tiny Tot | Campus To Career

[…] Cry for help. Babies are pretty dang good at this. They’re completely helpless, yet they have many ways of telling you what they need: a diaper change, food, or a good burping. They have distinct cries (or asks), whimpers or squeals to let you know how to respond. It’s a guessing game at first, but in the end, we learn how to identify their cues and respond appropriately. As a professional, when was the last time you asked for help? Do you ask for want you want? […]

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